Stunning

Does she still want me or did she ever let me go? I received a few new pictures from her the other day. They are so amazingly beautiful and of course I had to tell her so. When I saw them I had this fantasy invade my thoughts, wrote them down and sent in the email to her. This is what I wrote back to her.

Her image caught my eye as she knelt on the bed wearing only a pair of low cut black pants, her hands raised above her head as she played with her hair. I watched for a while as her slow movements showed the details of the curves of her back, fading off into the unknown of the pants that were covering the rest of her. I stood there in the doorway to her room wearing only a simple white pareo, having just finished a quick shower after I had returned from work. I could have stood there for hours watching her but in a very quiet tone I said "don't move" hoping that I didn't scare her with my presence or turn around. She stopped and kept her gaze forward as I quietly slipped the pareo off and knelt in behind her. Her arms were still above her head, her hands still holding her hair softly to one side out of the way. I softly rubbed her back and shoulders, and then up her arms until I reached her hands. I took them into mine, letting her hair fall and guiding her arms down in front of her until my arms completely enfolded hers.

I felt her arms fall to her sides as she relaxed, leaning against me as I kissed her neck softly, the heat from her body driving my own body into a frenzy. My hands gently sliding along the smooth curves of her breasts, down her belly to the edge of her pants and back again. The soft sighs told me she wanted more. I unbuttoned the front of her pants, feeling her sink into my body and she rested her head on my shoulder. Wanting, desiring but unable to say the words, I slid my hands deeper into the unknown.

So sad

Well, In a way I felt this coming. The two of them cannot reconcile and I feel at this point that my involvement with him may have repercussions during the divorce, so I have decided it's best to leave this fun party and let them work things out between them. I am going to leave this blog up and hope to soon have another adventure.

Cats out of the bag

I discovered that it wasn't about me, her quietness over the last few weeks. In a recent email she said that she did enjoy very much the web cam session we had. I found out through her husband that she wasn't into it but I'm sure now that because she is lesbian and does not want sexual relations with her husband that she had told him she didn't like it so she wouldn't have to cam with him. On the other side of this he believes that she just doesn't like it. Sometimes it's hard to be in the middle knowing both sides. Now that the holidays are over we'll have more time to play.

Taking the first step

I joined a Femdom website a few days ago in hopes to learn more about being a Domme for him. After speaking to the administrator there, we plan on holding a discussion in a chat room with a lot of interested male submissives to talk about what their needs are and how I can meet those needs in an online setting. I know that my previous experience was more about sharing what I know in a kinky way but this will be more about how to give the dominance he seeks. I'm just waiting for the date to be settled as there is a time zone issue involved.

New roles

I am almost caught up on this blog, only a week behind really. December 26, 2008 the relationship with her husband changed quite a bit. He had logged on and was getting ready for work which included more stroking. He has been constantly asking what he should do, what I wanted to see while he was doing this. It was just an accident, a slip of the tongue, but I told him that he should only be allowed to stroke when I'm online with him and that he should be asking for permission to orgasm. Even though he doesn't do kink yet, he understood what he was being told and said, "yes Mistress" and stopped stroking. He had to go to work so that is how our last conversation ended. lol

Broken silence

The following week I heard back from her husband. He has been on night patrol so it's been gruelling long hours for him. He is excited about more web cam sessions so this is good news to hear. He loved using the web cam, it became for him so much more than just playing by himself. We just talked a bit today about using some toys to enhance his experience in kink. Well he doesn't have any experience at all and wants to explore this more with me. I have started a list of things to send him, things that won't raise any eyebrows when it passes through the US army mailing system. lol

Among other things we talked about how big he was. lmao. This got started because I asked him if he had done anything to do with anal play and of course I was curious because of the pictures he sent me. This led to some discussion on some of the things we could explore once he returned home. I think I left him with lots to dream about.

It's been so quiet

For about a week after I didn't hear from either one of them after the marathon web cam sessions. It was hard not to think about the fact that we had just shared so intimately and then the silence. I felt awkward, feeling as though that I had scared them off. But these feelings are so unfounded, but I realize too that they had not done anything like this before and so I gave them this time to adjust to their own feelings. The new sensations of sharing themselves with me on web cam, sharing with another partner outside of their marriage must be so overwhelming. But I waited, expectantly, maybe hoping too that I really didn't scare them off. The bad weather played an important part also, while the wife was looking after her kids alone during this and her husband on a week long mission and added to this the holidays were right around the corner, so I have just waited.